My dance journey began in 1994 when my life was in disarray. I had two small children, no money and a big mortgage. As with most young mums life seemed to be a treadmill I could not get off. I was unhappy, exhausted and at the end of my tether.

One day I bought a Healthy Options magazine with the groceries, a wee treat for moi! Inside the cover was an advert for Mana. In the schedule was a women’s weekend, 4 days of women space, 4 days of no kids, 4 days of no demands, 4 days of no cooking, cleaning, laundry………

Garth arranged two days off work for the kids and off I went, map in hand to find Mana Retreat Centre somewhere on the Coromandel.

I found peace, solitude, the earth, Goddess dances, and wonderful food. I also found wonderful support in Catherine, Shanti, Tara (Marnie) and Anahata who gently guided the 4 days of bliss. I experienced my first sweat lodge, sang for the first time in years and danced and danced.

Somehow along the way I also lost my invisible corset! Everything loosened….. my hair did not get brushed for 4 days, I went into Coro and bought a muslin dress – purple! Along the way I found myself climbing out of Ceridwen’s cauldron and embracing LIFE….

Arriving home, I found Garth looking at me strangely. He walked around me 3 or 4 times and then commented gently, ‘honey, you have grass in your hair!” and I replied, “ yes, and I found these amazing dances, and the Goddess!”

Following on from that time I attended retreats when I could and found in the dances that essential thing that was missing from my ‘standardised’ view of religion. I found that I could pray, that I could sing, that I could dance, and doing all three together had an enormous impact on my whole being.

A few years back at Te Moata, after a wonderful dance session lead by Marnie, I was lucky enough to be in a discussion group with Jocelyn. I expressed how I loved the dances, and Jocelyn said, ‘so come and join NZ’s first dance leader training!”

I was excited by the thought of a regular practice, but had no intention of becoming a dance leader, so along I went to deepen in the dance under Shafia’s ever patience tutorage. I danced and danced. I sang and sang. I was in awe of those brave enough to step up and lead, I hesitantly offered to organize ReUnion, I danced some more. I finished three years of training and lead one dance.

Shafia offered a second training, I took my Beloved and went determined to find the courage to learn the guitar and stand in the centre of the circle. I went to January Retreat, then to another ReUnion where I led one dance. The circle seemed to think I knew what I was doing. I went back to the training for another year and then went to ReUnion and led 4 dances! The community seemed to think it was OK.

At the end of the 2nd three years, I presented a certification session. It was a life experience! Leading a whole session was hard work! AND then Catherine, my Beloved mentor certified me, so now I must know what I am doing!

My Beloved Garth and I now run a regular circle in Tauranga where dances regularly turn to custard – and that is OK. Our group has fun and are hungry for more – and what is amazing – they seem to think I know what I am doing! We also lead at a regular circle in Ohope Beach where Angela organizes the place and space.

Long may we dance Toward the One. Alhumdulillah!

Clarity